Wake

[anastasiav]

Wake

after my head touched my pillow
John Spencer sat down at my kitchen table
we drank coffee with honey and lemon
he laughed aloud while explaining
how martin sheen was a communist

he gestured towards the playbill magazine
lying cockyeyed on the kitchen table
my obituary, he said,
was short and incorrect
and quite flattering

he wore a shirt
like my father wears
in his cold war passport photo
short sleeved and madras
beige with a button down collar

he whispered a secret to me
(John Spencer, not my father)
I could see his mouth move
but the meaning was lost
behind the noise of the dishwasher

How still the air is
when you open your eyes unexpectedly
wondering why it is not yet dawn

Comments

[baronessmartha.livejournal.com]

did you write this? I really like it.

[anastasiav.livejournal.com]

yes, that would be me.

But I can't seem to locate the title.

[anastasiav.livejournal.com]

Oh, and Thank You.

[kiena-s.livejournal.com]

eh, not sure i'm any good at this but... i'll at least give it a whirl. 2 that crosssed my mind: "pillow talk", "the secret".

i liked this one...

[anastasiav.livejournal.com]

I like "Pillow Talk". A number of variations with 'Secret' in the name had crossed my mind, but nothing really appealed to me.

I'm glad you like it. It was wonderful seeing you this weekend. I hope that T showed you my other post about the totally delightful Penguin toy.

Will you be at 12th night? I'd love to talk to you more. Email me anytime you want.

[kiena-s.livejournal.com]

i hadn't seen the one about the penguin toy... it was a total pleasure for me to get to spend some time with you...

i will be at 12th night, if we can find some time that we be great to sit down for a few and chat...

[rising-moon.livejournal.com]

This is lovely.

(The title is in there somewhere, but I can't find it either. I lean towards Kiena's angle: "translation" or "whispers" or something like that.)

(Maybe "wake".)

[anastasiav.livejournal.com]

Wake.

of course. That's it.

Thanks so much (for both the title and the kind words)

[rising-moon.livejournal.com]

You're quite welcome!

[chez-mathilde.livejournal.com]

"Wake" is a perfect title.
I really like the way the point of view changes at the start of the last three lines, like the "turn" in a sonnet.
And the visual of the beige madras short sleeve shirt made me think of a fifties photo, sepia and fading.
Thank you for sharing.

[anastasiav.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

The first stanza needs the most work -- its too wordy and there is something in there that I still don't like in the flow of the language, but three four and five are just as I want them.

I'm glad you picked up the turn - it wasn't intentional, but when it appeared it clearly needed to be there.