anastasiav | "I am the Peaceful One, whose form is self-effulgent, powerful radiance."

For me, the best part of being a mom is putting E to bed. Its the one moment we have in the day where we are totally focused on one another. There is something powerful and addictive about lying next to that small, warm, trusting boy and have him lay his head on my arm or his hand on my face, watching him as he falls asleep, feeling him relax next to me, knowing that he feels safe and loved with me lying there next to him.

Not to be all geek girl, but there is a quote from Buffy that goes "Wherever I was I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time didn't mean anything nothing had form but I was still me, you know? And I was warm and I was loved and I was finished. Complete. I don't understand about theology or dimensions, or any of it, really but I think I was in heaven."

I don't necessarily believe in eternal life, but if I do, that's what I want it to be. Being safe and warm and complete - the knowledge of a toddler in the moments before sleep.